Me? Fibroid? Never! Thats For Old Women!!

I have ruminated over how best to tell this tale , how to write it down.....how best to convey the pain i went through ......how best to educate other women - young or old , mothers or not, married or single but as always i'll let my thoughts guide me but its not like i'm blogging about some fun sexual experience so i'm aware of the fact that i must try not to bore you guys.

 I wasnt sure if to write it in parts...like a diary or memoir of sorts or just edit everything into a single story but i'm just going to write as i remember.  Couple of months back i found out that i'm able to block out unpleasant memories,so to forestall that i had written some parts of my this story as they happened.

On Feb 13th 2011, i woke up with a terrible pain. It felt like i wanted to pee,someone was squeezing my bladder and i had running stomach all at once.i used tetracycline (self medication i know) but it provided some sort of relief. i wasnt going to let down my friends, Jibola and Emem so i got dressed and headed out to Swe for the Valentine show. I dont think i spent up to 3hrs at Swe bar,i laughed a lot...screamed...danced...fooled around....but i was in immense pain..i snuck out of there because i knew there was no way Emem would have let me go.

The Discovery

Feb 14th 2011. Monday morning came with its usual madness. I got ready for work,pain was still there but after the drugs,it felt a bit better. I got to work and didnt eat on time....and then the pain started.....oh My goodness!! i couldnt function properly...it was as if it was doubled. i told my colleague and she jokingly said 'Maybe you have fibroid!'. being the hypochondriac that i am........i went online and googled the symptoms of Fibroid.......... and there they were, staring at me in the face.....

·        Pelvic pain and pressure

·        urinary incontinence and frequency

·        heavy menstrual bleeding

·        Constipation or bloating

·        Pain during sexual intercourse

·        Reproductive Dysfunction - infertility,miscariages, premature labor, and complications of labor.

·        Lower back pain

Ahem...lemme just say clearly and boldly here that i have shown (and as at that time was still showing) 5 out of these 7 symptoms and i have been experiencing each one for years.....so excuse me for bolting out of my office to the nearest decent hospital i could find on Google - Marien Hospital.

The Diagnosis

 I guess somehow i knew i had fibroid but i didnt want to believe it. i saw the doctor and he examined my tummy (hes cute by the way but very married....*rme*) After touching my lower abdomen, he was like 'thats unusually hard.....i'm going to recommend an ultra sound scan right now. just take this card with you and ask them to give you an ultra sound asap'

I couldnt even argue. i swallowed hard and humbly walked out of there afraid that my fears are about to be confirmed.

Got to the lab, paid for the scan and waited for my turn.  in those moments,it occured to me how lonely my life was.  I knew so many people yet here i was sitting alone about to take one of the scariest tests of my life and there was no one to show that fear to. i shed a tear or maybe two....and i was called in.

i was told to lie down and the gel thingy was rubbed over my belly and the images came alive on the screen......i saw what looked like a child....i exclaimed 'whats that? i'm not pregnant! why do i have a child in me?'

the lab guy replied and said 'no you're not! thats the fibroid'.

still confused,i said 'no that looks like a baby'

(i guess i'd rather be pregnant)

He sighed and said ' its the fibroid. but take the result back to your doctor. he/she will know what to do and 'tell' you'.

i waited outside for my result and i cried. then i called my dad. being the logical man that he is, he said 
'why are you crying? have you seen your doctor? whats the next step?. stop crying and ask these questions,Bimbola. Crying has never solved anything otherwise the genocide in Rwanda would have stopped at the first blood shed'.

So i 'manned' up, collected my result and took it back to the hospital.

The doctor had left by the time i got back to the hospital. i dropped my result and was asked to come see the 'PROF' the following day.

The Journey To Recovery

H.S.G?

Came to see Prof (Professor Ogedengbe) the following day and after waiting for a while i was called in. The minute i saw her, i became less scared.
 Shes a diminutive woman who has had years and years of experience. She knew her job and all these i got just from her saying 'Hello my dear! sit down...lets sort out this fibroid business'

It was such a relief to speak with her. She reassured me that everything would be fine as i bombarded her with questions flooding my phone from my sister, Biola (shes a nurse as well but shes American and you know how freaked out about everything those yankees can get!!)

Prof examined me and recommended an HSG test. 'HSG?....that cant be bad...i'll just go after work tomorrow' ......... i should have just asked biola..shes the medical person in the family...i swear i should have.......

 ****The following was written immeadiately after my HSG test. i havent edited it..i just copied and pasted. i wrote it when the pain was fresh because i knew writing about the pain weeks after wouldnt capture what it was that i went through so forgive the typos,i was typing through tears:

Today I experienced the worst pain of my life. After my scan on 14th Feb 2011 where it was confirmed that I had uterine fibroid,my doctor,Prof Ogedengbe asked that I do an HSG test. The test apparently is an x-ray to show where my fallopian tubes and all is so they can be sure where to cut during my surgery. According to Prof,its just an insertion into my vagina and they'd take snapshots.

How bad can that be?

I closed early from work to go for my test. Got there,paid the 10grand and after a lot of convinving that I wasn't pregnant,the test commenced.

I was asked to take off my pants and lie on the table and set my vay-jay-jay right under the light.

Then the most gruesome 20mins of my life started.

She inserted what felt like metal into me and I felt that isn't bad. Then she thrust it in even further....then the first pain gripped....I screamed and she was like...don't worry,just relax and do as I say and it'd be over soon.

I thot that was it....the camera was gon roam around my womb and take pictures and it'd be all over in a heartbeat.

I was so wrong.

The metal opened up sideways in my womb and I screamed....I called on God to help me. It was a lot of pain,I didn't do anything to deserve it. Then while the metal was in,she turned it around to get a better view,I looked around for something to hold on to but I was alone....even the walls stared back at me. She asked me to open my mouth and it felt like a hundred pins in my tummy......breathe in she said....and I went blind from the pain........breathe out.........and everything went blank......I could only hear her voice screaming......just do everything I ask u to do and u'll be fine"........

She left the metal in me and went out......'Hold your breath'.....the flashlight went off.

She came back in.......took a giant syringe and stuck it in......

She repeated this process like twice and I begged her......I was in so much pain.

I kept asking 'are we done? But she just kept repeating the instructions......'Open your mouth'

'Breathe in'

'Breathe out'

Hold your breathe'

After that I simply gave up.....I was too weak to scream......

She came back n said...'Oya stand up and clean yourself up'

I tried to get up but the blood came gushing out....there was blood everywhere......

I struggled to get up....my shirt was stained heavily at the back........and it felt like it was my period all over again........

I cleaned up....got up and started to change.......

'Go hime,take a shower,drink something warm and take some panadol.....'

'So do I have it?...' I said in reference to the fibroid.

'This was just an investigation/probing to locate ur fallopian tubes and ovaries so your doctor would know where to cut during the surgery' she replied.

I sat back........and thot to myself......'What have I gotten myself into?'

'I have fibroid'

'I have fibroid'

'I have fibroid'

I walked out of the diagnostic centre like a zombie.....

Hailed a cab and cried all the way home.

And this is just Day 3.

The Elusive Period

Surgery was scheduled for the 16th of March 2011 which was technically about 10 days after my last period. Doctors wanted to rule out any chance of pregnancy before operating.

And then the period refused to come.

Its funny now but it wasnt then!! i knew for a fact that i wasnt pregnant cos one would have to have sex before you can get pregnant right? ehn...so i wasnt getting any. And then the wait began..i started counting down days ...until it was 16th March and the stupid period still wasnt here!! Frustrated, i marched to the hospital to tell them the surgery needs to be rescheduled for April seeing as this period is taking its bloody time ...pun so intended!!

Prof asked me all the usual questions....'have you had sex in the last 2months?'

Errr...'No Doc!'

'Let me put it this way.....between the last time you saw me and now,have you had sexual intercourse?'

(i understood the question the first time doc! whats ur problem?)

' No i havent!'. i replied.

'hmmmm.......i'm still going to recommend a pregnancy test for you just to be safe and sure'

Sigh!! 'Maybe this woman knew something i didnt! i touched my boobs 'are they bigger?'...'whats she seeing that i'm not?' and since when did my words mean jack?!!

'ok. but i'm not preggers!'

I took the test and no! i wasnt pregnant......i went back to see her to triumphantly say 'I TOLD YOU SO!'

She looked at me and said ' thats good!! Now we can operate!'

'Huh?'

'Yeah. i was just trying to rule out any chances of you being pregnant. so i think i'm free for next week wednesday....23rd March.....you'll check in on the 22nd'.

'Errr..okay ma'........shit!! i thought! this is happening!

You see...because i was afraid of the surgery but wouldnt admit it,it seemed as if my body also shut down the period.....

I went back to work to file the necessary papers. Got home that nite and my period started. Sigh!!

The Surgery

Tuesday 22nd March 2011,i woke up said my prayers and started to pack.

I got ready and got a cab, went to the bank,withdrew money and came to the hospital. Deposited cash, dropped my luggage and went to my hairdresser's.......removed my weave-on and asked her to make Diidi (traditional weave) for me..if i was going to be pain, i didnt want my weaveon standing in the way.

Got back to the hospital and they took my blood to check my PCV level and of course for HIV test.

i went up to my room and i slept.

Around 6pm,they brought me food and asked me to eat cos i cant eat after 10pm and for the next 2 or 3 days. I ate and went back to sleep.

At around 10pm,the nurse came in looking as grim as ever and with a blade in her hand, she said 'please lie down,i've come to shave you'...

No you havent!! i said , ' No i have shaved..see? thank you!'

I dont know if its just me but she looked dissapointed.... she insisted and shaved off my bikini line still.

My big sis, came in the morning before the surgery and then around 830am,the nurse came in and said 'its time'.

She helped me remove my clothes, jewellery and helped me change into the green overall.

Then i panicked.

What if i die? what if NEPA takes light during surgery? what if Prof suddenly collapses during surgery? what if they find something else wrong with me when they open me up? what if i get infected? what if they forget a tool inside of me? what if i die?

The nurse touched my arm and said......'it will be well. Dont worry. God is in charge'.

i stepped into the OR and the doctors started coming in one at a time. They gave me drip and they were all quite chatty, friendly (i knew it was all in a bid to calm my nerves but i was grateful for it)

The anaesthetist told me to sit up that he was about to inject my spine...at this point i was too weak for words cos it occurred to me that this was happening.

He injected my spine and my lower body started to feel heavy. i laid down and he whispered ' its 10.10am...the surgery has started'.

i felt the Prof cut into me but i didnt feel a thing. My feet started to itch and i tried to move it yet nothing happened. i started to freak out. i begged them to put me to sleep. i couldn’t take it anymore. they agreed.

An hour,ten minutes later...i woke up and saw my sister. and then my dad...then my stepmom called...then my sister...then my brother......then the doctors came into my room.........I MADE IT..........I'M NOT DEAD! i said to myself.

***dont mean to gross you out but this is what a fibroid looks like! HAVE YOURSELF CHECKED OUT TODAY PLEASE!!!!

4 days after surgery,I had the catherter stuck in me for 48hrs....but thats a story for another day , right now i'm just grateful to be alive!!

Papa And Mama Philo And Dbanj's New Single - Scapegoat.

Papa n Mama Philo live in Mafoluku with their daughter,Philo and her 5330 Nokia.Papa Philo
owns a transistor radio he's very proud of.He likes to listen to Matse and Yaw on Wazobia Fm
with wife before they start d day n at d end of work.Papa Philo is an okada rider while Mama
Philo sells Plantain by Bolade,Oshodi.


Philo is an S.S2 student @ bolade Comp High Sch n goes 2 join her mother every afternoon 2
sell plantain (they are even thinking of reinventing- selling Boli - see Philo is industrious!)
Papa Philo though with no money,loves Mama Philo very much. One day,he goes to drop off Emeka at his CD/DVD shop and blaring from his larger than life stereo was 'Scapegoat' .


"Which song be that,Mekus?' He asked. Emeka replies 'its the new Dbanj song o! Scapugooati' u like am? E sweet o!' Papa Philo excitedly replied ' E sweet! I fit dance to ds one! E no b like all dose other ones Philo dey always play for im phone,I no dey hear wetin dem talk' this one be like dt type wey dem dey play for abraka tht time'. Emeka answers 'Na so! Come dey go abeg! Day jus break'


He leaves Emeka's shop and gets on his motorcycle,humming 'I will be your scapegoat o...
Honey'. After a long hard day at the bustop in Isolo,Papa Philo starts to make his way home,stops over to give his 'deliver' money to Charles,the bike owner. By the time he gets home,he's totally fagged out. Mama Philo and Philo are waiting outside,talking,waiting,sighing.


See,papa Philo had come in later than usual and philo n her mother were worried. Seeing her husband trudge into their compound,she ran to get him water,proceeded to place a bucket of water in the communal bathroom. By the time he got out of the shower,a hot plate of garri with okro (tho the meat was absent) was waiting for him. He devoured the garri in record time and soon as he washed his hands,he hit the bed.


Next morning,Mama Philo was not very happy. She had things on her mind she wanted to
discuss n by sunrise,she was grumbling a lot. Philo went in to talk to her dad. 'Papa,wetin dey do mama?' 'I no know o my daughter but make I go check my sweet potato'. He goes outside to find Mama Philo huddled in one corner. 'Mama Philomena,wetin happen?' Mama Philo looks up,brows furrowed 'no ask me kweshan! U don start abi? All dose girls wey sell oranges for bus stop don start again abi? Me I no gree o! Where u go last nite wey u tire like that??' 'U no even fit follow me talk?' Na so abi? Common N50 I no make for that junction,u sef no too bring money come house and we have to pay Philo's school fees' 'u no talk that wan?' All ur girlfriends don collect ya money finish abi? Anuofia!' She hissed and turned back to face the wall.

Papa Philo sighed instead of the usual anger and ensuing fights. He sighed and walked away.He was tired...mentally and physically. He got into the room to find Philo dressed and ready for school but she was 'pressing' her phone whule fiddling with his transistor radio. He screamed at her 'My friend u no go comot go school before I show ur face how many lines my palm has??' 'I go soon collect that phone for ya hand na' Gif me mai radio my friend! U think say na small money I take buy am?! Nonsense!'


Philo made one last attempt at getting the frequency right. She scurried to one corner of the room and continued thumbing away at her phone. Her father at this point ,is surprised to find that she's still 'pressing' the phone. 'Philomena! Wetin u dey do for that phone wey u no wan go school?' 


She made to reply just as Yaw's voice came on the radio 'this 95.1,wazobia fm...how una dey!?' 'Una sleep well!?' 'U say? Some of una still dey sleep? Make we pour them water?'


Papa Philo relaxed a bit and sat on the bed,still not getting what she's doing on the phone.


Yaw's voice could still be heard on the radio ' Una don hear Dbanj's new music ? He call ds one 'ScapeGoat'. Anyone wey fit tell me the name of him last song ,go win something this morning!   ....haha! We have a caller .....'Hello,who be dis?'


Philo : My name na Philo!


Papa Philo : No be you be that? Na wazobia u bn dey call so? Na ur voice be that for radio?
HeheeEe!! Mama Philo come o ...he screamed. Our pikin dey talk for radio. He rushes out to get Mama Philo.


Philo: Yaw abeg play me that scape goat music. I like am well well. Play am for my bobo,
Sylvanus,,e dey Laspotech. The name of him last song na Endowed.


Yaw : u don win be that! I go play am for you and Sylva. This Scapegoat is for Philo and
Sylvanus! Make una enjoy!


Papa and Mama Philo ran into the room just as Scapegoat starts to play on the radio. Philo
runs out of the room to head to school. Mama Philo turns around to leave the room just as
Papa Philo grabs her arm and swings her around....singing ''I will be your scapegoat o,honey,cos u came tru for me.U gave me breaktru baby'


***Bear in mind that baba philo the 'okada man' is not on notjustok.com or sturvs.com,he just wants to sing the song to Mama Philo his wife,the plantain seller and Philo their daughter will call wazobia FM again to request the song. The marketing manager of Star/Coca cola/Tomtom/baba blue will do a survey but nt amongst the 16% internet users but the Mama and Papa Philos of this country to find out if they wanna hear the song live from the dbanj at their next event. Dbanj gets a call and gets a cheque of 4M for singing 'Scape goat'!!


Still wanna go on about the song? Its a silly song. Enjoy it. Why so serious?


Listen to the song here:
ScapeGoat - Dbanj

Rhecks,Kudi and Love 2.

A lot of work went into finishing up this post because i'd started to think that maybe i was just being silly! I mean..this cannot possibly be the first nor only time i have talked about love or the lack of it! oh well! I feel like writing and i dont know how to leave my business unfinished...same way i cant end a call without saying goodbye...if it cuts off,i'll call back just to finish the convo properly..........i digress.
So when i say a lot of work went into finishing this post,i didnt carry hoe and cutlass o! its just that i went through thoughts of 'should i just delete the old post and start all over?' or "should i talk about something else?" Welcome to my world....
Anyhoo,i stopped with the story of meeting  and making friends with Rhecks then her fabulous self upped and left for Jand. Because i am wired in an annoying weird way,i couldnt make new friends...nobody was like Rhecks...she got me..Totally! And i carried on like that till 1998 when i walked into my Photo Journalism or was it Public Relations class and saw this cute chubby girl squinting hard at the board!! i went up to her and according to her (blame my sporadic amnesia),we got talking and she after my one million questions,she told me she came from Calabar.....i didn't get it! Why would you or anyone want to leave Calabar and come all the way to Abeokuta (in English means 'under the rock'...go figure!) I was intrigued...see my first friend..Rhecks..was a bit of a nomad so this girl from Calabar piqued my interest!! I was like Yay!! I noticed she squinted a bit and gave her my glasses,everything became clearer after that..she didnt know her sight was that bad.....(She still wears glasses till now,i think her sight's even worse than mine! hehehe!). We became friends after that..she later confessed to me that i was a bit annoying but she was tickled!! We've been friends for the past 12yrs....a godson for me now and a lovely husband for her.....


Hold on..i'm getting to my point now!!


Rhecks is back in the country now and we are still friends...shes got a great career and shes gonna be great although shes got her silly fears but i know this woman!! We might have grown apart over the years..but the core remains the same and i love her still.
Kudi's in Chicago now with her family. We talk everyday via BBM and call each other at least once or twice a week.


In total I've been friends with these women for about 15yrs and my love for them has not faltered! i am probably one of the most annoying human beings i have ever met...Rhecks even had it easy..she was in the U.K...she didn't have to experience my madness first hand...Kudi on the other hand...phew!! I swear i dont know how shes been doing it but this woman gets me and shes one of the few people i actually listen to (she didnt know this before o!!!) not even my Dad has this kind of influence on me and hes the only parent i have left and when he is not annoying..he is the best!


Okay...here it is...!


My point is ...if these two can tolerate me and love me like they do without asking me to change who i am,why cant i find and be with a man who loves me just as much and even better cos i mean sex is part of his package..No?
I love these two just as much as they do me and i will do almost anything for them. They get me and i get them. We fight but ultimately,we know nothing's bigger than the friendship we shared and we've shared. We have drank garri together and eaten at expensive restaurants together..............we have cried and laughed.......but we are still standing......a lot of things have come and go ...age/men/other friends/money/work/life...but we are still here.


Maybe i am naive but shouldnt love with a man be this easy. I love this man and this man loves me...i will be faithful to him and him,me. He will piss me the f**k off  and i might want to smash his head against something hard but i love him too much to hurt him........we would shout at each other but i wont go to bed without talking about it cos theres nothing more important than our love and happiness. I love him and he is my best friend and i can be myself around him...we would work together to make a success of everything..our marriage,our children...our home...his job...my job.... When he calls,i will answer....i will be his woman,his best friend and lover...... i will be his freak in the bed and the lady by his side!! He will be my brother,my best friend and my lover!


Oh well! We cant have everything thats why God created best friends. Thank you Rhecks and Kudirat. Your love and friendship has shown me love is possible...in different dimensions.

Rhecks,Kudi and Love 1.

As usual,i started to write something else in my head and i found myself writing this...... dont ask me....

In 3yrs,i've had two marriage proposals,three meet-the-parents and countless 'his-siblings-adore-me-why-shouldnt-the-parents moments. And i'm still single. Could it be because my standards are too high or i'm still hurting or television has affected my reality?
My theory is simple. I've enjoyed my longest relationships with two of my female friends,and my theory is,if that can work anything can work because ....just read abeg.....
 Rhecks - I've bn friends with her from J.S.S 2 i think but then she left for the U.K after our J.S.C.E (where she wrote her yoruba essay in English!!!) Of course,we stayed in touch. Yahoo/hotmail and even the occassional letters hand delivered sometimes. Me and her could pick up from wherever we left off even if we had not spoken for months! it was a great relationship and she remained my best friend for as long as i could remember. Everyone else came second tho she wasnt even in the country but no one could take her place in my heart...then along came Kudi.

(To be continued tomorrow.......my eyelids are not co-operating....dont worry i'll be back!!)

For Mummy...but especially for DaGrin.

I write tonight because I do not know how else to channel this pain…this hurt! I write because I have been crying all night and would probably cry more. I write because I knew Dagrin. I write because I miss my mother. I write because I hurt.




I woke up today totally oblivious to what today represents. I have however been feeling quite withdrawn from God and all things spiritual and my ways have been giving me cause for worry. How can I come from being Pastor of the children's church to not even opening my bible? So I decided to do a fast and I prayed and asked for forgiveness and for Him to pull me closer.

I left my house after I broke my fast still oblivious to what today represents. I went for a meeting and towards the end of the meeting, my client asked me what today's date is and I said "April 22nd" then it hit me, my mother died this day 03:30 Saturday 1995. Needless to say, the meeting came to an abrupt end for me at that point. See, my mother died with me holding her and I had to break the news to her father, my grandfather. I was 14 years old. I left the venue of the meeting to go mourn what was left of today and then, I got the news, the blackberry message read 'Pls tell me its not true' and I replied 'what's not true?' He replied 'Its all over twitter that Dagrin's dead" and I said it had better not be true.

I checked twitter immediately and I didn’t see anything different from the usual banter of people tellling rumour mongers off. Then I got another message, saying 'rest in peace,Dagrin" And this source does not spread rumour partly because he is very close to the Dagrin camp. I begged him to tell me its not true and he said its true babes!!

Saying I cried my eyes out and found myself on the floor of my living room is not a situation I thought up just now,It all hit me at once!!

I was just coming home to mourn another year of my mother's absence and how she would never see my kids and all and then I hear of Dagrin's death?



Olayitan Olanipekun Oladapo a.k.a DaGrin died today at 06:48pm at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital,Idi Araba,Lagos.



I am torn! My heart bleeds! I wish I could put the pain into words but I can only weep!! I learnt years back that tears can not bring back the dead but it never stops hurting!!

I confess,I wasn’t his closest buddy but like most industry people , we knew each other. I had his number,he had mine and all that jazz. My last memory of Dagrin was at the Coca-Cola theme song launch with Banky.W,M.I ,Eldee and the industry heavy weights. I saw him park his newly acquired Nissan Maxima with his personalized plates and I told myself,'whoa! Dagrin's done good for himself,way to go boy!!' He came into the holding area a couple of hours later with his signature bodyguards . I was tickled cos he looked so small compared to his "giant" bodyguards. I had a friend with me from the states who was star struck that nite…she dragged me aside and said "I wanna take a picture with Dagrin too"

'No wahala I said! Hes cool like that!" I said. I went over to him and of course his BGs rose to the occasion,he quickly told them in Yoruba "Ha…this is my aunty o!! Ha! She is good peoples" I smiled and the guards 'sat'!! He came over with a smile and took the picture. I said thanks and he was like 'No wahala…its you now!"

That’s why it hurts!! He was simple like that!! Very friendly and I genuinely liked him!! I like what hes done with my Mother tongue….he made yoruba so cool with his music!! As I listen to his tracks tonite,playing back to back on most radio stations tonight in his honour ,tears fill my eyes and wet my keyboard….i reflect once again on the futility of this life…….Some might say he didn’t deserve to die but who deserves to die?

I thought my mother didn’t deserve to die some years back when she died at 45…she would have been 60 this year on the 18th of June…not that I'm comparing death or the gravity of it…but Dagrin must have been what 24,25 yrs old? What tha fuck?? How can Dagrin die? How? It hurts and I still don’t believe it hurts this much!!

You don’t know what its like until you lose someone….death sucks monkey balls!! And what makes it worse is..whats the guarantee we'd make heaven? Such a gruesome way to go and not make heaven on top of that?? Not good! I sincerely hope Dagrin made it right with God before he passed…so he can find the peace he truly deserves.

May God fill the void in his family. May God grant them peace. May He give them a reason to smile again. May God in His infinite mercy give them the strength to survive these times like He gave me.



I leave you with lyrics from his hit track PON PON PON!:

Awon ti Ijebu won nfi mi sere bi ifoko. Mi se agbe to lo s’oko

ti o k’oko. Iro ko, awon sisi fem u mi s’oko. Sokoyokoto, e ti mo

pe olobe lo l’oko. Omo Naija, mi o maga, mi mugu. Awon Ibo, won

nfi mi sere bi Ugwu. T’oba ri mi, wa ni o boy, se you be Igbo? Se you

be Anambra, abi you be Imo? Mo ma fi n ye won pe I be omo Ogun. I’m

a soldier boy, you call me Akojun. Last album mi to jade, won nipe

ko ta. T’oba gbo ni siyin, o ma fi hip-hop jo bata. Ile oba t’ojona,

ewa lo bu si.



O yeah. Sossick, let ‘em know we taking over mehn! You know

what it is, but we knew what it was baby. Awon ti siyin ni Naija,

emi won si ma ja. T’oma sare gbagbe bata, bi pe ki bata e ja. Olorun

sib a elomi se ninu yin, o si ni hit. T’oba to time kan, e yin bawo,

e ni le fit. E ma le. Igba yen la ma mo ojo mo bale. Ama fi rap rap yin

po, ese yin o ni bale. Ewo kin fi fale, ewo mi kin fi ale. T’oba wa

da bi iro, oya na wo je a jale. Mo ti so fun yin tele, mi o lo sibi kan

kan. Mo ti lo sodo, mo fo ori mi pelu kan-kan. Mo mu kan-kan yen

mo so s’odo, ko ba odo lo. Eni wa mi ti, a ni ronu, nibo lo lo. Anywhere

ti ba lo, mi se eran ilu kan. And anywhere ti ba, nlo, mo fe ma lo

pelu *gun shot*. Mo de ni lati get e larin osu kan. O ti di dan dan

because ota po gan.



REST IN PEACE DAGRIN...

CONTINUE TO REST IN PEACE MUMMY…Mrs Olufunmilayo Ayorinde (June 18th 1950 - April 22 1995)

Charles Carpenter's Phone.

I started to write this ..as usual with nothing in mind but just a need to put pen to paper or in my case,finger to keyboard! I just got back from spending almost a week in Abuja and i was so sure i was going to rant about the difference in lifestyle when compared to Lagos and all that crap but as i lay here in front of my lappie trying to channel my thots into words.....while the notification light on my blackberry curve 8900 is blinking at the same rate as that of an ambulance,i remember what Ellen Degeneres said last night on her self titled show on the series channel. She was talking about the intrusive nature of these modern day gadgets especially the mobile phone.  So i changed my mind and decided to talk about the blessings and sometimes,curses of the BLACKBERRY and mobile phones in general.


Does anyone remember back then when we had those dial-at-a-time desk phones? those ones that were a replica of Charles Carpenter's phone in Another Life? When that phone rang,we ran to get it cos we didnt know who was calling! There was a level of mystery and intrigue with each phone call....u didnt know who was calling.....i remember my all female cousins team running for the phone in hopes of getting to it before the all male cousins/brothers team got to the phone so they scare the caller away!! Lol!! (oh my! suddenly i feel old!!its worse to think that there are some children alive now who might not know what the f**k i'm talking about!!) Now we have caller IDs....and we get to screen calls...mschew!wheres the fun?
Dont get me wrong and please dont be like my father and think i'm against development and growth...arrgghhh!! Nothing like that!! I love my blackberry no matter how beat up it looks!! Its my nerve center!! My scheduler!! My diary! My PA!......My marketing tool!! But sometimes it does get a bit much!!
I was with my Oga the other day and he'd been talking and for my mind,i dey hear wetin him dey talk but turns out i wasnt....i was just nodding and thumbing my phone away!! I have Blackberry messenger,twitter,facebook,yahoo messenger,msn messenger and googletalk applications installed on my phone.....you can imagine the madness trying to talk to to different people on different platforms at the same time and also trying to spend quality time with your partner!! Needless to say ,he snatched the phone from me and demanded 'his' time!! lol! Poor baby! I totally understand!! I'd be livid too!!


What can be done to balance maintaining our 'human-ness' and moving with the times? I for one,dont want to lose those things that made me,moulded me into what or who i am. I'd hate it if my children grew up this way with almost zero human contact!! Everything is Myspace,Facebook,Blackberry,Googletalk/Buzz,Skype......we've almost lost that which binds us as a people all in the name of building a global village!! What gargantuan good has that done us? How has that friend in America helped me find fuel during fuel scarcity in Nigeria? How has that friend i met on twitter who lives in South Africa being the shoulder  i needed to cry on when my heart was broken? How has my husband being able to get me preggers via Skype? SMH.....yeah thats from the new age web lingo too .....it means Shaking My Head!!! Its great to see how the world has developed...its also sad to see how much we have lost...allowed to slip away!! Technology/Development etc...are neccessary evils just like...MEN!!

Is contentment the over-ambitious man's equivalent of mediocrity?

When I was 20...which was like 9 years ago,i had a conversation with myself and set some rules/objectives for myself! I said to me if my love life was still shitty by the time i hit the big 30,i'd adopt and i'd only adopt because assuredly i'd be able to pay my unborn child's school fees and all what not,i'd have a great job..one that i loved and a good apartment and at least a good car.

Thing is i'm almost 30,will be 30 next year.i work for myself in an industry that believes paying your dues is the same thing as working tirelessly while kissing all the asses along the way without getting paid for it so yeah,i work very hard but i'm broke. Love life is ....yeah u guessed it....still shittty,which only means one thing...i cant have nor adopt a child cos i cant take care of myself not to talk of a child who cant tell you what he/she wants till shes  spent about 3yrs on earth!!

So heres the thing...i'm not a worrier hence my confidence that i might not die from hypertension but sometimes these things do get to you. The pressure mounting from family bout your age as if you've lost track of time and you dont even realise your own age.......the pressure from your married friends and the constant e-invites for weddings from friends on Facebook! You might stay strong and smile but in the end,it does get to you cos nobody likes to be lonely (i like to be alone but not lonely sha!) so in the face of all these,u still have to work and get paid and look nice.

I'm not going to dwell on this issue..like a friend,Bez,once told me,'maybe you should use another yardstick for ur goals' and thats exactly what i'm going to do! Everywhere i turn i see my friends who were blushing brides at the time of getting married but are now these empty shells just existing!! I see their husbands shamelessly cheating on them and in no time ,the marriages are over even before it started.

I see 35yr olds who are jobless and holding on to the last shred of hope that life's got to offer. I see people struggling to eat daily. I see women whose monthly spending money is what i blow in less than a week!

I am grateful for my life but in the light of this,i can only ask God to continually show me what my life would be like if i didnt use the opportunities i was given properly!

I might not have a BMW 5 series but i know how to drive and i have a car to drive.

I might not have my own rented apartment,but i have a roof over my head.

I might not have the latest shoes or clothes or even fashionably correct but i'm not without!

I might not have a man to call my own in the real sense  of it,but i am happy and my decisions are so far not based on the presence nor absence of a man in it!

Though,some very competitive people would say one should aspire for more,compare yourself to the successful people they might say!......even i have said it to me several times but at the end of the day,the question always still remains 'Is contentment now mediocrity?'

Lord help me to understand and know the difference.

I am a very competitive person and always want more...to achieve better than the next person. To be better than the guy next to me but now my prayer is for God to grant me the ability to know when to stop.

Maybe some of us are meant to excel at something more than the other (s). Marriage instead of a career1 Career instead of your marriage! Singledom instead of marriage! Alone instead of lonely!

I compare myself to those i think i'm better than or my situation is better than because it makes me appreciate my current situation and do everything not to lose the opportunity i've been given - the chance to make it all better.

I compare my life's situation not because its a mediocre thing to do to use people you are more fortunate than as yardstick...but because it helps me reflect and appreciate how far i've come.

With a gun to my Head.

So i think i have been given the option of updating my blog as regularly as i can......i should be relieved but i'm not!! there are so many things that trouble me! kai! where do i start from? ....maybe from the hypocrisy of the industry i work in...Entertainment or the hopelessness of the country i live in........or the more mundane issues of the heart...no?......i guess i'll just shoot! whichever comes to my fingertips first!

I resigned from my place of work on my birthday,i figured it was the best birthday gift i could give myself seeing as i was working in a very unhealthy environment....and errr! i dont mean it literally...infact many will say my former place of work had (dunno about now) the best bathrooms! lol!...Anyway,i digress! I was saying....yeah! I resigned....at the time it was the best decision i could have ever made! i mean who wouldnt want to resign from a place where you are constantly told off for ...wait for it....... doing your job "too well"......dont look at me! i didnt understand it too!

I was happy i was going to do what i was born to do....not Law...i know i talk a lot but thats not it!!....Entertainment! that'll be the correct answer! i mean i've always been in entertainment...i have worked in several offices that had stuff to do with entertainment....infact i used to be a photographic model myself even became a brand ambassador for a telecomms company...had my face splashed everywhere...concerts here and there....(oooh!those were good times...good times!!)...I digress again!....

So i thought i'd just concentrate and do it full time! i got a couple of job offers but i decided to go solo...maybe i shouldnt have cos the minute you rely on people to help make your business work...thats the point you lose your individuality!! kai!! i learnt that in our industry and turns out the rest of the world too......you are not allowed to say you dont like someone's art even if its killing your eyesight and eardrums...you are supposed to suck it up and say 'wow! fantastic song/movie!"

Well,i played it their way for a while and then i started to get pissed off!! i mean why cant i tell you to go to hell if thats how i'm really feeling? why cant i tell you to stop playing a potential weapon of mass destruction a.k.a your music? WHY??? So i developed a new way out.......i will say it as it is...you either put a gun to my head...in which case you 'might' end up going to jail...seeing as our country is messed up or.............that brings me to the state of the nation........

Which i will not talk about cos depression is not on my to-do list today!!!

IF I COULD CHANGE THE WORLD......

yesterday i was asked by Mrs Adesua Oyenokwe publisher of TW Magazine to write a piece on the above topic and i must confess,it felt a little daunting at first....i mean what does lil ol me know about changing the world? Instantly i thought to myself what do i need to change about my own life first before i start to think of changing the whole world...really?
THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!!
so i thot to practice on blog first and see how much of a damage i'd cause if i were God for one day cos i think it would take God Like powers to change this here world of ours!! So lets go.....

IF I COULD CHANGE THE WORLD...
To change the world i think i would change me first. Make sure i do one good thing a day or maybe a week. Make a positive impact with everything i do. Smile more. Say thank You. Apologise to the next person who might have an issue with me and is nice is enough to say it out loud!! Love more unconditionally...(needless to say this would be hard!!)

And this brings me to my perfect plan of changing the world,personally i think the recipe is simple really...and i know it might sound cliched but if we think about it deeply we'd find that there is no other better 'expo' to changing the world.

Imagine a world where we all loved one another unconditionally....crossing boundaries like Race,Religion or whatever excuse we might come up with.Imagine the leaders of all Middle Eastern countries coming together over a cuppa Joe (they probably do while soldiers are bombing away!)

I honestly did not want to speak about what everyone else is going on about but i thought about it.....would you hurt someone you genuinely love? would you destroy their properties? would you kill their children and rape their wives and daughters? would you steal from them and take what belongs to them forcefully? would you wipe out their entire city?
I dont think so.....Please tell me again...Why shouldnt love be the answer to changing the world?

So if i could change the world...i would make sure i let out all the hate and spread the love like a farmer sparying his plants with pesticide...difference is ..this time i'd be killing the HATE!

Thats my final answer.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND...the ramblings of a now OVER UTILIZED MIND!!

Ok so my life has kinda taken a funny positive turn since i was last here which must have been November last year or was it year before?
Anyhoo....i was going to delete this blog business but a group of talented-somewhat eccentric but overall annoyingly sweet individuals...Please do not cringe as i list names like AYANYANKS,DECLETIC,FUEGO,SEINJIN? (YES SEINJIN!!) AND CO!! have voted that i continue writing..much as my life currently is not very benevolent with time,i belive this blog could actually help with fast-purging a lot!! okay so before we continue,lets state the few things that are constant still...

1. I'm still Single! (not married definitely!)
2. I still have a job ( Well..turns out i'm still God's pikin!)
3. I still live with my folks!!
4. I still have my writer's block so the tendency to write shit is still very high.

So shall we formally get re-acquainted?

Hi, My name is Ms Sapphire and this is my blog.

So Far.......

Its been so long....jeez! Its been a year since i was last here. And unfortunately for me now i've got a serious case of writer's block(not that i was writing anything fantastic before now!) So thanks for those who still check out this blog for updates and i apologise for dissapointing y'all everytime but "A CHANGE WILL COME" and it has come..."YES WE CAN"!
So when i'm ready and not trying to sleep early so i can get to work ( oh yes..i work now! thats a basin of fish altogether ...not a kettle!) early without the mad traffic of Lagos....my Lagos!, please be more patient (this is for my tiny fan base) THANK YOU THANK YOU...Y'ALL R SO WONDERFUL!!!!

the glory of all lands?

thats the slogan for bayelsa state,if you ask me,the only right they have to that 'pay off line' is just all that oil been drilled out of that state! because for whatever else,the place aint shit! and its so annoying to see such levels of poverty everyday when their natural resources is most of what is used to develop other states,and especially the federal capital territory which when compared to bayelsa is paradise!! when i say i can understand the cause of these militants,iit might seem like one is encouraging violence! but in reality,these people are suffering and you can practically smell the poverty off the streets.

i dont even wanna talk bout the mindset of the average bayelsan,its fucked! excuse my french! but really,these pple have nothing going on for them except this oil and its been taken away from them. so the average bayelsan is quite hostile,thinking that you're out to get him or cheat him out of what rightfully belongs to him/her. i dont blame them really cos what ordinarily should have been God's blessing to them has now been exploited and mismanaged by some really greedy people,what should have bn a blessing is now beginning to look more like a curse!!

N.B

by the way the father of the bayelsa deputy governor was kidnapped last nite,i thot that was hilarious!!!